I have A Chocolate Fudge-y Rice Krispie Treat and You Don't...But I Also Have Lupus.


I just ate my third double sized chocolate fudge-y Rice Krispie Treat of the day.  I'm craving them, and for some insane reason known only to the gods of snack goods and marketing managers they are not sold in regular stores.  I have to stalk them down at gas stations with convenient stores attached, which is the only place they seem to be carried.  Right now, the local BP is stocking them, and the girl at the counter gives a conspiratorial wink anymore when my wife goes in to get them for me.  She's been ordering an extra box a week, just for me.

I don't care.  They're about $1.09 a bar and I. Want. Them.   If you've ever been pregnant - or loved a pregnant woman - you have some idea what type of food craving this is.  I feel qualified to tell you that it is, in my opinion, worse than the food cravings caused by pregnancy, although I'm also a victim of hormones this time as well.

The Addison's disease causes me to crave some foods to the point that it is really all I eat.  Once it was blackberries.  Another time is was carrots.  Once it was cinnamon rolls but ONLY the ones from Sheetz, with the cream cheese icing, or I didn't want them.  I keep praying it'll go back to carrots sometime, but right now it's these damn rice Krispie treats.

I swear I tried hard to ignore the sole remaining Krispie treat that alone remained to tell me, in a tiny snap crackle-y popping voice about its chocolate-y goodness.  It was downstairs.  I was up.  I was comfortable.  I should be asleep.

I lost the fight.  I did at least eat it slowly and carefully, breaking it into delicate pieces that I savored as each bite surrendered to me, but that's poor consolation now that the moment is over, the drama and chocolate gone.

(Don't worry...I have a back up pan of brownies.)

Don't hate me for my rice Krispie treats.  They're a by-product of the mess my endocrine system is in.  (No, really, I'm not making that up.  I have both Addison's and Lupus and they are both flaring right now and I always get food cravings with flares. I don't know why, but it's common.)

It's hard to tell what is flaring first: Addison's or Lupus, but they're both "hot" right now, so the doctor man put me on a steroid course which will help...and will also keep me hungry, keep my awake, keep me ranting and rambling away and unable to sit down or focus in the worst sort of way.  This is preferable to the Lupus just staying flared, because that brings with it a host of other, uglier problems, that I don't like dwelling on much.  Suffice it to say that the cure is actually better than the disease..or I wouldn't be doing it...but the cure still sucks.

So much for writing.  I'm doing good to get a quick post up, when I should have been sleeping hours ago, according to the Ambien I took at 8:30.  I've often read that a number of great writers turned to writing due to physical disability.  It's true that it is a flexible trade.  I'm just not sure how they got focused enough to write much of anything when they felt like crap all the time.  All I want to do is sleep, watch the ID channel on t.v., eat something, drink tea, and sleep some more.

Good night.

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